its crazy how many people cant write. yet they do anyways. its like they think they have a right to expression even though it destroys other peoples lives. its also crazy how sucky writers usually have some pretty intense crap to write about. maybe intense isnt the right word, but for sure profound. so i was thinking ... thats where most of this stuff starts... how does someone become a certain someone. not just a random someone... but i'm thinking people have dreams, to be a kind of person, or someone, how does that person become the someone they want to be. you'd think that if they wanted it that badly and it was possible then they would already be such a person. so is it because he or she doesn't really want what they 'want' rather they feel better about themselves when they make up some desire or goal? im pretty sure lots of people want lots of things, maybe even to the point of expressing such desires to a friend, family member or (my personal favorite) a complete stranger - primarily because if its a complete stranger they won't know you enough to be able to use anything that you actually think/care about against you. however most of the time ones dreams are simply means of entertainment - nothing to be taken seriously and surely not something to work towards. no. life sucks but it deff works the way it is. america will have to invent a better word than sucky before life gets to the point that its actually worth fixing. so is there a way to become the someone you desire to be? am i just entertaining myself with visions of a Me 2.0? i would hope not. i spend 15 bucks on wow a month for entertainment. so then why? are we just idiots and have to crave that which is impossible to attain? nah. i see the someone i want to become all over the place, in dozens of other people. i'm pretty sure its possible. so the true question is, when your heart wants something but you yourself - encompassing all habits, experience, likes and dislikes, beliefs, friends, sock colors and favorite icecream flavors - is against it, what do you do? i really dont know how these blog things work, so if someone is looking for some kind of clarity... sucks to be you. cause i havent figured it out yet. im still not totally against the 'you dont really want it' philosophy. maybe i partially want it, and that part also wants the rest of me to want it...one more thing thats crazy...how people arent internally logical. they contradict all over the place.